Recess/Playing Fair

How long my roots could have grown around the stones of a borrowed throne

Is a blessing to never need to know.

You, your stifled smile 

The feigning of my martyrdom 

My unsung hero. 

The jury’s long been out on the verdict of your nature

But I’ve never once indulged your blame

How do I ever thank you but to forgive you?

Months have passed since I’ve wondered the size of your hand next to mine 

How you take your tea, if you’re better read

Are you gentler than me, better composed

Eager for complacency where I domino in on myself 

What I’d give to be you, 

What you’d take to be me too 

But to grow is to change 

These days self love has surpassed measurement

The lessons learned ring like fire alarms 

And I no longer recognize the parts of me that’d sell the world for a dime

Do you once more recognize you? 

Though I still hope on some level it was worth your dowry

That you lay comfortably in the bed you made alone

With luck you can still find peace 

And have real friends that say ‘I told you so’