the first night

The foreshadowed reluctance that then painted the walls

Has since dried

The colours always refract a little brighter the morning after

You tell me for my own sake it is too early

To be a good man

Though our mutual fastenation invented by initial fascination

Eclipses upon our better judgement

This is my home

But it was yours once, too

As was I

As were you

But what once was natural

Has grown awkward

Distant

In the wake of your resurrection

A worthy sacrifice in our eyes

Though the last snowfall has erased any traces you ever stepped foot here

My bed would recognize you anywhere

It even remembers you now

I wonder if you reflect on this as I do

I wonder if you knew then what you know now

I wonder if I did too

And though winters have always been forlorn

Putting this baby to rest hurt more than it exhausted me

But I still sleep in this bed

And you still listen to my music

The blow of our personal disloyalties

Softened by how we cannot regret